I swear, you would have thought it was a 14-year-old teenager's closet. Picture two big piles of clothes on the floor (one to donate to charity, one to wash). At your left, a beautiful antique chest ... suffocating under many layers of unfolded sweaters and off-season clothes. Gold jewelry, pearl necklaces, tweezers and a toothbrush tossed in the same little plastic bag. A computer hard drive and a CD burner on the shelf, next to a couple of delicate pashmina shawls. No, you never could have guessed this was a life coach's closet. However, this 80-square-foot mess was mine. All mine. And I wasn't 14 ... it was just a few weeks ago.

The clutter and disorganization affected me, of course, and I tried to fix the problem numerous times. But my efforts were all in vain ... at least, from a long-term perspective. Keeping that space in order required me to work so hard, to fight against myself (my “tossing clothes on the floor” habit was so persistent!) ... so I always quickly gave in and gave up. Struggling is exhausting!

The knot ...
Now, it's just so obvious. Still, months of status quo went by before I unearthed the core of the problem (or “challenge”, as I usually say). In a nutshell: I had simply asked myself the wrong questions. You see, I had never investigated WHY folding or hanging my clothes made me so frustrated. I had never explored WHY I wanted to get out of those four walls as soon as possible (even at the price of leaving a mess). I had tried to change ME, but I hadn't tried to change my closet ...

So I tested a new approach. I sowed the following question in my mind: “How could I rethink my closet's structure so that it stayed organized effortlessly?” An ambitious question, it was. But the answer was just waiting at the door; I had to love being there. I needed—among other things—easy access to my clothes, and a nicely decorated environment (it already was, yet not sufficiently). But my greatest revelation was also the simplest: I needed a chair—something to sit on. Eureka! Bingo! Yes, it suddenly occurred to me that I would have the patience to fold and hang my clothes if I were comfortably seated. That's all I needed. Quite simple really ...

So I put everything you just read into action. Now, I'm delighted to report that my closet and I have been living happily ever after, and that we have many pairs of jeans. Seriously, that space is now more inviting and functional than ever. Believe it or not, I LOVE keeping my clothes organized, now that I have a cute ottoman to sit on (you can see a picture, on the right). But what's most fantastic is that it's all easy. I don't have to put much effort into it. I wouldn't even think of tossing my clothes on the floor ... I don't need or want to. There's nothing to fight against anymore.

A life that fits...
I shared this experience with you because it illustrates quite well a common phenomenon: when things don't flow as well as they could, we tend to blame ourselves. We presume we just need to work harder, and we keep bumping more and more aggressively into the same ol' wall. No wonder we are not successful (or fulfilled, for that matter)! It certainly is very hard to perform when we feel uncomfortable, out of our element ... And if we feel uncomfortable in a situation, or in a certain aspect of our life, it often is because it doesn't “fit” us. We are trying to swim against the natural flow of our personality, of our needs, of our values ...

To make my closet fit me, all I needed was a few dozen wood hangers (because I love the look and feel of wood), three or four wicker baskets to organize my sweaters, some pretty ceramic plates, a few hours to implement my new system and, above all, my little magical ottoman. Now, think about it: what do YOU need to love spending time in our closet, to keep it tidy without having to work so hard? And more importantly: what do you need to enjoy spending time in every aspect of your LIFE and achieve your goals effortlessly? What “little ottomans” could make you FLOW forward?

A new perspective...
Often, all we need is to adopt a wider perspective and to ask ourselves better questions. To go back to the basics, to the root cause. If you're constantly fighting against the same thing, put your weapons aside for a minute, and dig a little bit. Which of your fundamental needs are not being met? Which aspects of the situation are not in tune with your personality, or with what you love? Let me remind you that your needs, your interests, your gifts, your values and your principles are crucial! They are not part of you by accident, and they are not mere details. On the contrary, they are RULES you must respect; the first and most important step to any type of fulfillment is self-knowledge and self-respect. The more you will align your life with who you are and what you need, the more you will blossom—in every possible way.

Finally, it's not more difficult to align your life with who you are than it is to align it with who your neighbor is. Quite the opposite, in fact; it's so much simpler, and infinitely more satisfying. You know, you can always plant banana trees in your snow-covered backyard, work your tail off, struggle, and get no results. But you can also respect your environment and decide to grow apples. Then, you could read a good book (while they ripen), borrow my ottoman to pick them, and take big juicy bites of the delicious fruits you harvest. That's what a life with a good “fit” is all about. And so much more ...

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